


White Walls

by dvisyhead



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Coma, Confusion, Dreams, Fluff and Angst, Illnesses, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Memory Alteration, Sad Ending, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 02:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3156782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvisyhead/pseuds/dvisyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here he was, Dan Howell, age twenty three, the luckiest guy on the planet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Walls

**Author's Note:**

> this story has a happy beginning and then a sad, tragic ending so u have been warned.
> 
> don't hate me for this fic lmao
> 
> also i had to change some wording around because people thought i stole something from another fic that was posted the same day as this one. i would like to think im not dumb enough to steal from a fic that was posted like an hour or two before mine lmao

Dan and Phil have been living together for almost six years now, and he couldn't be happier. You would think that after being around someone for so long, breathing the same air as them, spending basically every heartbeat by their side, you would get sick of a person. But not Dan and Phil. Ever since they were able to meet years ago, they have been basically inseparable. They did everything together. From making youtube videos to their radio shows to just spending all of their times together, it was almost inevitable for them to become more than just "best friends."

Dan was never really sure how he managed to end up so lucky to have someone like Phil to call his own. Hell, before he left uni he was pretty sure he was straight but look at him now. He was with one of the most gentle and loving people he has ever met, and he wouldn't trade Phil for the world. Phil really was amazing.

Here he was, Dan Howell, age twenty three, the luckiest guy on the planet.

Sometimes, Dan would just drift off into thinking about these sort of things, about how much his life has changed. Dan wasn't not too sure how long he’s been standing in the middle of their kitchen with a blank stare on his face, but it has been long enough, because he spots Phil's bright blue eyes on him as he walks into the room. Phil gave him a questioning look, but thought better of it and decided to let it slide.

“Dan c’mon, I’ve been waiting for you to come and sit down for so long that my cheerios are getting soggy, you twat. How am I suppose to enjoy my breakfast now?” Phil questioned, but a smirk formed on his lips, which made the corner of Dan's mouth turn up in response.

“Yeah, okay sorry, I’m coming.” The brunette replied and he walked out of the room and over to Phil who had taken a seat on the couch. He sat down right next to Phil, letting is head rest lightly on his boyfriend's shoulder.

“Okay, so do you want to watch ‘Mirai Nikki' or 'Sword Art Online' ” Phil said as he sat his cereal in his lap and picked up the television remote.

“Hmmm, well, maybe um we could…”

Phil jokingly let out a loud sigh. "Daaaaan."

“Okay okay, 'Mirai Nikki' then!” Dan whined in defeat. Phil rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle at Dan's distress before planting a kiss on his boyfriend's head.

Dan could feel himself blush and he hid his face against Phil's shoulder. But once he heard the intro music for the show, he composed himself and sat up to watch, still cuddling against Phil as the older boy ate.

About an hour and a half into binge watching their show and dirty dishes set aside, they couple had found themselves snuggled together on their couch under a duvet. Their legs were entwined as Dan laid cradled in Phil's arms. Phil was lightly playing with Dan's hair absentmindedly as they watched, and Dan couldn't really concentrate. He had his eyes closed and was paying more attention to the heart beat of the raven haired boy, letting it sooth him as he tuned out the show in the background.

It was moments like this that Dan never took for granite. No one got to see this side of the two, them both being just very open and comfortable with each other. It was just cuddling, but Dan just enjoyed Phil's presence and enjoyed every second they had together.

"Hey Dan." Phil spoke up softly, as if to try not to startle him.

"Hmm?" Dan made a soft noise in response.

"Do you maybe want to start filming the new phil is not on fire video today?" Phil suggested.

Dan shrugged slightly before sitting up, and looking over at Phil. "Do you want to? I mean, I have the twitter questions saved already."

"We don't really have anything better to do, and our fans are dying for it."

Dan nodded and smiled.  "Well how about you clean up the dishes, get dressed, and I'll go set up the tripod and everything?"

"Sounds like a plan." Phil smiled back and leaned in to kiss Dan softly. Only for a moment before he pulled away and stood up, cleaning up the dishes they used for breakfast and walking off to the kitchen.

Dan got up as well and made his way upstairs and making a bee line for his bedroom. He shut his door before walking over to his wardrobe and opening the doors, staring at the abyss of black clothing that was inside. After a few moments of shuffling through hangers, Dan decided on his black and white star shirt and a pair of simple black jeans. He tossed his night shirt off and moved his hands to the waistband of his pajama bottoms, pulling them down before slipping out of them, leaving him in just his boxers.  He was about to put on his new clothes before he heard a voice behind him.

"What a nice sight." Phil said smugly, causing Dan to jump back in surprise.

"Jesus Christ, Phil! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Dan grabbed his shirt off of the floor and threw it at Phil's head, but he dodged it and his smirk grew wider.

"S'not my fault you take ten years to get dressed." Phil commented. He was already dressed himself, wearing a pair of black skinny jeans as well but he wore a bright blue nyan cat shirt.

"It's hard to decide what shade of black suits my figure well." Dan said sarcastically as he pulled his own pair of jeans on.

Phil made his way over to Dan and snaked his arms around his waist before planting a soft kiss on Dan's neck, causing the younger boy to shiver slightly at the sensitivity.

"You look good in everything, bear." Phil said gently. He continued to move his lips to the nape of Dan's neck before sucking softly on the skin, not enough to leave a mark but enough to get a small moan in response.

"Phil..." Dan whined but didn't stop Phil as he relaxed into his boyfriend's arms.

"Yeah yeah, we have to film I know. But you're just so cute." Phil chuckled lightly before pulling his arms away from around Dan.

Dan couldn't help but blush at the compliment and silently putting on his new shirt. Phil had turned away to grab the camera and tripod from the corner of the bedroom before bringing it out into the hallway. Dan grabbed one of his black sharpies from his bedside table before following, heading toward Phil's bedroom. The tripod was in place as he walked in and he plopped down on Phil's bed. After making sure the camera was in focus, Phil sat down next to him. They did a quick fringe check in the viewing screen before Phil leaned over and pressed the 'Record' button.

"It's time." Dan looked into the lens and spoke in a deeper voice than usual.

"Wait, something missing." Phil looked over at Dan.

Dan waited a moment to make room for a jump cut before holding up the sharpie and shouting, "THIS!"

Phil ducked away from Dan and chuckled slightly. "That was so loud!"

"Sorry." Dan laughed at Phil before they composed themselves. They recorded a dramatic uncapping of the sharpie before they got to work drawing the whiskers on each other.

"Do me up, Dan!" Phil declared before getting a strange look from Dan and realizing what he said, he began laughing. "I mean whisker me up."

"This got off to a baaad start." Dan chuckled and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on Phil's lips. "But I'll do that later, too."

Phil groaned loudly at the bad line and rolled his eyes. "Shut up and draw on me, you nerd."

Dan started to draw Phil's, managing to make an innuendo or two about noses before Phil did his in return before they started to record the actual video.

After multiple horrible jokes, innuendos, and a dignity ruining hour of footage, they made it through all of the twitter questions they felt fitting for the video. Dan happily tossed his phone aside on the bed and smiled at Phil.

"Well, that was everything."

"I think my favorite bit was how in phil is not on fire 79 you were all lonely because I died, I feel so honored." Phil chuckled. "Glad to know I'll be missed when I'm gone."

"Well I hope you're around in my life for that long." Dan replied sincerely before he pressed his lips against Phil's, this time with more passion behind it. Phil felt his lips curve up as he returned the kiss, missing the contact after house long of having to pretend to be just friends in front of the camera. After a moment the two pulled away to breathe and Phil spoke up again.

"Actually, I have one more question to ask that I saw, thought it would be good." Phil glanced over at the camera to make sure it was still recording before he locked eyes with Dan.

"Oh, what was it?"

"Dan, when will you and Phil get married?" Phil said in a serious voice, but Dan rolled his eyes at the statement.

"Phil, come on."

Phil shifted awkwardly to pull something out of his back pocket and pulled it out for the camera to see. It was a dark blue velvet ring box, and before Dan could speak he took his free hand and held the brunette's hand in his.

"Dan, I can't imagine the past few years without you. You have changed basically every aspect of my life and all for the better. I'm a much better person with you around, and I know something as much as a label and a certificate won't strengthen our bond anymore, but I think I would like to be able to call you Daniel Howell-Lester. Dan, well you marry me?" Phil removed his hand from Dan's and opened the box, revealing a beautiful silver and black toned ring inside.

Dan felt like he was in a cheesy romance movie as he covered his mouth with his hands in shock, tears threatening to pour as he looked down at the ring and back up to Phil. In fear of his words just ruining the moment, he nodded frantically and pulled Phil into a tight embrace, his lips crashing against his now-fiancé as he let the tears pour. He couldn't imagine a better life than the one he had now.

-

After all of the commotion early in the day, Dan and Phil both decided that they would save editing the video for tomorrow and they just wanted to relax back downstairs and watch some more tv. They had been cuddling for a few hours and Phil was fast asleep, his head in the crook of Dan's neck. The younger boy smiled at his adorable snores before glancing over at his hand, examining the ring that Phil had gotten him. It was simple but very pretty, and Dan was very happy with the thought of being able to show it off to all of his friends and family. Once Dan was snapped back into focus on Phil, the snoring had suddenly stopped and he raised an eyebrow.

In the far corner of Dan's mind, he heard faint whispers and a consistent beeping noise. He grabbed the television remote the muted the tv, but the noise continued. Then, he felt the warmth of Phil's sleeping body slowly fade from his side. He began to panic and he looked over at his fiancé, but his vision slowly began to fade. He felt really woozy, and for a moment he thought he had passed out, but when Dan awoke, the beeping sound was no longer in the back of his mind, it was brought to the forefront.

_Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep_

 After the noise began to make him restless, Dan finally opened up his eyes. Where the hell was he? This wasn’t home. He instantly felt a knot turning in his stomach. He tried to move up into a sitting position, but his joints felt so stiff that any sort of attempt to move seemed to knock the breath out of him. He glanced over to examine the room and there was his mother sitting in an uncomfortable looking cushioned chair, absentmindedly flipping through a book. She glanced up and when she saw him staring at her, she nearly through the damn book out the window as she just dropped it from her hands and quickly rose. She rushed over to Dan and pulled his body into a tight hug, planting gentle kisses on his head as she slowly rubbed his back.

”Oh Dan, my baby, oh my god.” Another onslaught of kisses ensued and Dan couldn’t even breathe from all the smothering .

 “Okay, mom. I’m fine, I think? What’s happening, what’s wrong with me? Where’s Phil?” Dan rushed to speak before she interrupted with a hug that almost knocked the breath out of him.

Disregarding the last question, she seemed to take a steadying breath before looking at him. “Daniel, do you remember anything that happened before you ended up here? Anything from the past couple of months?”

Dan nodded. “I was just sitting in my apartment with Phil and I started to get woozy. We were watching tv when everything got fuzzy. Did I faint or something?”

The look she gave was about the same one you would give to an insane person. “Honey, I have no idea how to explain this to you, but ten months ago you were hit by a car. You were in a coma. The- the doctors said they weren't sure if you would ever wake up or not. Your father and I have been basically living in this hospital, hoping there would be...something.” His mother's voice seemed to crack as she spoke, tears threatening to pour before she cleared her throat and attempted to not seem as broken as she really felt.

The memories started flooding into Dan's head. Everything he had ever known for the past few months were somehow jumbling up inside his brain, taking the truth and turning it all around.

“But..Bu-b-” Dan was stuttering, his entire world crashing down. “Where’s Phil? I have to find him, mom. Please, where is he? Did he come? Are we still in London?”

”I have no idea who that is. Do you know him from school or something?”

Dan's head was pounding and it just wouldn't shut up as he tried to think. Nothing made sense “Mom, I haven’t been in school for five years. I dropped out of Uni forever ago and you know I don't talk to anyone I met there.”

Mrs. Howell scrunched her face up in confusion and reached beside her to press a button near the bed. Dan couldn't really see it, but he could only assume it was to call the nurses in.

“You’re only sixteen, why on earth would you have gone to Uni. You’re still in secondary school, Daniel, at home, in Berkshire..."

That statement kept ringing in his ears repeatedly. Sixteen. What the bloody hell did she mean sixteen? Dan had a life with an amazing boyfriend and an amazing job and there was no god damn way he could still be sixteen. His twenty third birthday happened just a few months ago.

Everything began to come back to him in clumps. She had mentioned something about a car accident, and now suddenly, Dan remembered. His brother, Adrian, and Daniel were playing around in the street and the last thing he remembered was headlights and the loud sound of screeching tires against the pavement. But then what about Phil? Where did he fit into all of this?

Just then, the nurse came running in. “Yes? I’m sorry I was late. Oh, goodness! Dan, you’re awake! This is wonderful news, shall I get your husband, Mrs. Howell?”

 “Oh, he can wait for a few moments. I just have a question about my son. He’s talking all this nonsense about a 'Phil', but I have no idea who this is. All this talk about University and such. What’s wrong with him?”

 The nurse seemed confused for a moment before recognition lit up on her face.

“Oh, goodness. He might have a case of Coma Dreams. Happens all the time with patients who are in a coma for an extensive period of time. Normally it's nightmares, but Daniel's sounds just like an extensive long, normal dream. Nothing to worry about though, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Dan choked out a sob and looked to his mother. She smiled down at him.

“I’m so glad to hear you’re alright. Yes, call in my husband, please.” She said to the nurse.

Dan looked down to his hands, a lump stuck in his throat. His hands, the same ones that held Phil’s every day for six years. The ones that caressed his body and held him on our most intimate nights. Dan's lips tingled as he remembered all the kisses they had shared together. Then he remembered the fans. Dan thought about all the people who dedicated their lives to the two of them and looked up to them. Their youtube channel, the radio show. The knowledge that everything he had ever known and loved was ceasing to exist right before his eyes was enough to make him ill.

There was no Phil Lester. There was no cozy apartment in London. There weren’t six million fans that loved them both. The inevitable feeling of loneliness and despair crept up on Dan and consumed him. He felt hot liquid stain his cheeks as he suddenly realized the truth about his entire life.

Here he was, Dan Howell, age sixteen, the coma boy who made up the story about Phil Lester.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah hoped you guys enjoyed it!! Comments & kudos are greatly appreciated c:


End file.
